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Unpacking the Family Tree
Funny thing about DNA, it doesn’t only reproduce the physical features you display to the world, but genetics play a role in how you think, how your body responds to stimuli, even the expressions you make. Recently I heard the quote “Jesus is in your heart, but Grandma/pa is in your bones”. That quote resonated with me so much because there is debate about nurture vs nature but after half a dozen foster babies and 3 biological babies and one beautifully adopted child I would dare to say that there is not debate but that it is in fact both that play a huge role in who you become.
According to the University of Edinburg “Family history of disease may be as much the result of shared lifestyle and surroundings as inherited genes, research has shown. Factors that are common to the family environment -- such as shared living space and common eating habits -- can make a major contribution to a person's risk of disease, the study found.” So, it is believed that not even disease boils down to simple nature but is in fact a product of both. Wait, before you accuse me of saying that your disease or your child’s is your fault, lets recognize that because of sin and living in a fallen world not all things have a root cause and many things are in fact out of your control however, that doesn’t mean all things are.
My husband and I see an amazing man of God for counseling and in the beginning of our sessions we went over “Family of Origin”. Why? Because in trying to heal and grow one must address both past, present, nature, nurture and realism and idealism. This particular topic was very hard for me because it required me to really examine who I was and who I became to survive and there was a part of me that really struggled with admitting that the parents I loved weren’t perfect and didn’t meet all of my needs. It was like trying to rip apart two band-aids that were joined by super glue, it was really hard and truly hurt emotionally, to see that I was broken and that I felt invisible and despite my security in Christ I was a very insecure person.
So how do we remove the thorns that we once produced to protect us but are now harming the ones that we love? Do we simple read the Bible and become transformed? The answer to that is both yes and no. Two scriptures come to mind for me when I think of this 1. Be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind and 2. Faith without works is dead. You cannot simple read the Bible, you have to allow it to renew your mind and you cannot simple have faith in Jesus you have to be willing to do the hard work of uprooting the things that are not pleasing to him and the parts of you that were never meant to be a part of his original creation. Going back to my original statement, “Jesus is in your heart but Grandma is in my bones” I have to acknowledge the things that were passed down to me, Religion calls them generational curses other groups call them predispositions and science calls them nature and nurture but without taking a look at and acknowledging these things that shape who we are, we are prone to being strangled by them.
I will leave you with the encouragement to also do your own family of origin and these two quotes. “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it”- George Santanya and “You have to expose who you are so you can determine who you need to become”. The work it takes to do this is not easy friend, but then of the cycles you’ll break, the lives in your lineage that will not have to fight the same battles that you have to. You got this friend go ahead and #GrowGirl
Signed,
HER
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