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Hello ADHD
Can I tell you a secret? I’ve never felt good enough. I’ve spent most of my life drowning in a river of disappointment and no one would throw me a life vest. I was a pretty smart kid growing up, in 4th grade I read and comprehended at a high school level. My father owned a bookstore growing up and I spent a lot of my time sitting in the aisle of the children’s reading story after story, so to no surprise I did well in other areas in school because if you can read information well you can probably learn just about anything. So why did I flunk out of high school and college and why was I drowning as a mother, wife and human?
Part of growing is recognizing all your flaws and acknowledging things that prevent you from blossoming beautifully. It’s kind of like weeding a garden, if you don’t remove the weeds people will fail to see the beauty and the weeds will eventually become too much and suck the life out of everything around them. No one wants to fail in high school, no one wants to appear lazy and unorganized so why couldn’t I just change?
Have you heard the term Neurodivergent? Probably not. But I’m sure you have heard the term ADHD. This is typically a tag given to overly hyper boys that may display disruptive behavior in class, however the number of ADHD or neuro divergent women is estimated to be the same as boys but only 1/3 of diagnosed cases are girls. Unfortunately, I fall into that group of undiagnosed girls. It wasn’t until adulthood that I truly recognized that I couldn’t keep up and it wasn’t until my journey of soul healing that I finally received answers. Often when I excitedly share this information with loved ones they either are very dismissive or I am met with a well-meaning “no, there is nothing wrong with you” I understand that most of them view ADHD as a disease, a thing that makes me a little more flawed, however I was just grateful to learn that there was a cause for everything I struggled so much in.
ADHD to me or Neurodivergence is not a terminal thing that we need to pray away much like the other stigmas with mental health issues it is often looked at as something that others should offer sympathy for, or somehow makes you less of a person. But my take on it is a little different, probably because well….. duh I’m a divergent (LOL).
The only part of this that creates an obstacle for me in learning how to do things differently than neurotypical individuals. If I truly believe that God designed me perfectly and uniquely then, how can I also believe that I have a design flaw. Man decided that we were created to think and respond the same way but even twins don’t do that. So instead of viewing this as a weed to be hidden in my garden I include this is the beautiful foliage of who I am and who he created me to be. The sooner I accept all facades of me, the easier it will be to grow in unison instead of fighting against myself and stunting my growth. If we unpacked the mental health stigma, I am sure we would see just how uniquely and beautifully different we were created.
Signed,
HER
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